Viva Las Vegas!

Wednesday March 14

The first observation about this year’s March Madness trip to Vegas, it’s much faster to get to LV flying from SF compared to Boston! While that may be obvious, the previous 20 times I’ve made the trek to America’s gambling mecca, I’ve been subjected to a 6 hour journey from the east coast. The one thing that is always cool about that trip is just how excited everyone is… people even cheer when the plane touches down in Vegas. Perhaps the 6 hour journey builds up everyone’s excitement. And for many, that includes 6 hours of drinking on the flight…. So maybe that’s it!

My flight arrived about an hour before Kevin’s (who was coming from Boston) and after going to pick up my rental car (the guy tried to talk me into a Hummer for $50 extra a day, but I passed), I made my way back to the airport. I think I circled the airport 3 times before finding my way back into the arrivals. I picked up Kevin, who is doing his Nicole Richie impression by looking borderline anorexic, and we then we headed over to Mandalay Bay and made it through a relatively simple check in process – the only decision to be made was whether I should give Kevin a room credit slip, which allowed him to charge whatever he wants to the room. Anyway, I gave him one and reminded myself to check the bill before we left (note to self: I still need to check that bill as who knows what he charged while I wasn’t looking). 

 We spent about 30 seconds in the room before going back downstairs to gamble. Normally, when I fly out to Vegas and gamble that first night, it’s the kiss of death. Probably because of the 3 hour time difference and it ends up being the equivalent of 4 or 5 AM EST… and you’re just so exhausted you make bad decisions like splitting tens (which I have never actually done, for the record). I guess living on the west coast paid immediate dividends because I ended up winning that night. Kevin, on the other hand, couldn’t even get the only guaranteed payout in the casino – the ATM – to pay out. Apparently, the beloved folks at Bank Of America had shut off his ATM card for making charges in separate states on the same day. Or something like that. Maybe Clisham is right, that bank does suck.

Anyway, it was a profitable night, but I had to be up early for the 9 AM start to the college games the next morning so we called it a night in order to get a couple hours sleep before the games tipped off.

Thursday March 15

I woke up around 8 am and headed down to the sports book to make my wagers… and encountered a line of about 200 to 300 people waiting to make bets. I’ve never seen the likes of it in all my years!

 So, I’m standing in a Las Vegas sportsbook wanting to bet on the upcoming games, but there’s no chance that I would get to the front of the line by the time the first 3 games start, so let’s just say that the old fashioned methods of the telephone and Internet were the preferred resources I used. I still find it incredibly hypocritical that it is legal to be able to walk up to a window and hand my money to a stranger to make a bet on a college basketball game, but illegal to use the phone or Internet to do the exact same thing. I strongly believe that these laws are simply designed to protect the casinos’ interests. I mean everyone knows that state lotteries are the biggest scams around and they pay out only a fraction of what they take in… and then tax the winner on top of that! I am going to write a strongly worded letter to my congressman.

Anyway, I get my bets in and start out 3-0 in the morning games including a nice wager on Boston College and a couple of other easy winners. The rest of the day pretty much goes the same way. I end up 9-2 on the day. One of my losses was on Duke, who I knew would probably lose but I guess I couldn’t go against all those cute white boys from the school in Durham

I even made it to the pool that first day. Las Vegas was in the middle of a record-setting heat wave for March. It was in the low to mid 90’s (average temperature in March is 69 degrees) so Kevin and I spent a couple of hours at the pool. Anyone who knows Kevin realizes he was sunburn the minute he stepped outside. Actually, I think he got sunburned while watching the weather forecast on tv saying that it was going to be that hot. That’s what he gets for being Irish.

After the pool and lamenting the fact the we did not book a cabana (definitely would have been worth the investment), we headed back to the casino where I had more good luck… thanks to Mr. Fuji. Who is Mr. Fuji, you ask? Well, Mandalay Bay has these $25 chips with all different pictures on them from various events held there over the years. Apparently one of the events several years ago was sumo wrestling and this guy on the chip looked like the old professional wrestler, Mr Fuji and he brought me good luck every time he showed his face. When I needed to win a double-down hand, I brought out Mr. Fuji. When I had a larger bet up than normal, I brought in Mr. Fuji. He was my good luck charm! It like he was there to smash a chair over the dealer’s head every time I got into trouble. Good ol’ Mr. Fuji.

 After a few more hours of basketball and gambling, it was soon time to head to the airport to pick up Mientkiewicz. Let me just say that the rental car paid for itself that night. The airport was absolutely chaos. The line for taxis was over an hour long. Baggage claim looked like one of those European soccer matches where everyone gets trampled to death. So, I picked him up and took him back to the hotel, where he promptly went right to bed. I guess Neil had a late night the night before… at work, that is. At least that’s his story, haha. That job of his is a killer. There’s no way I could work as much as he does.

So Kevin and I went back to the tables. I had Mr. Fuji on my side, Kevin had um, er, ah, one of the Mama Mia chips on his side? Clearly Abba chips do not bring the same fortune as former WWF wrestling managers. Although he eventually got the ATM to pay out, it was about the only thing that was a winner for him that night. Poor Kevin. Pun fully intended.

 To take a break from the gambling, we decided to visit Rum Jungle, the uber-hip night club at Mandalay Bay. One thing that I absolutely despise about those places is the faux-lines they create, just to appear like they are crowded and extremely popular. Well, after voicing my displeasure about the ridiculous line to the lummox of a doorman, I ended up not making it into Rum Jungle. I’ve been in before so I knew I wasn’t missing much, just a bunch of scantily clad ho’s and $12 drinks.

So, I ended up going back to the tables and won some more money, mostly at blackjack. Are you seeing a pattern yet? Definitely a good trip so far. Kevin and I met up later on and called it a night relatively early (keep in mind that 2 am is relatively early in Vegas) so I could be fresh for the games the next day. You would think I was actually playing basketball the next day! Although I suppose I wouldn’t be out in the casino til 2 am if I had to play the next day, unless I was part of the NBA all-star team, of course (the game was played in LV just two weeks earlier and apparently half the hookers took vacation after that weekend).